You've done it. You've made it. You've worked your way up the ladder. Not the corporate ladder, or Jacob's ladder, or the chute and ladder, but up to the upper reaches of the journalism community. All the long nights, lost weekends and paltry meals while your friends from college were out partying, making gobs of cash and not having to use cash advances to pay the rent have paid off.
You are a staff writer for a broke alt-weekly.
It's hard to get a job in journalism these days. If you're the SF Weekly, for some reason it seems hard to keep a job in journalism.
COS THEY ADVERTISE ALL THE DAMN TIME FOR A STAFF WRITER
The older posts have expired, but I swear, and some others in the perennial-job-seeker-community will attest, that the SF Weekly has been continuously advertisign for a staff writer since the freaking summer.
What makes this all the more intriguing is the fact that they gots no money. Whether or not the SF Weekly's parent company, Phoenix-based Village Voice Media (now that's an outsourcing) has to pay the full $15 million doesn't really matter. If they appeal, they'll shovel money down the trash-hole of legal fees. If not, they have to cough up millions, millions that do not exist in a newspaper's budget.
They're only looking for an experienced hack, someone with long-form journalism experience (read: no bloggers or daily hacks allowed) and a sense of humor: cos how else can you justify working for someone you know can't pay you?
Sunday, March 30, 2008
The return
Dope Bomb the Bass video, no? Wait, what? It's been three months since an update? I don't work as a sportswriter anymore? I'm back in the city?? I've been a news reporter for two months???
WHAT HAPPENED
Well, reader, you know, since, well, you know me if you're reading this. (If not, just who you be?) I'm back in San Francisco, where I shoot photos and write words for a small daily. Now that I'm somewhat established, I'm resurrecting the blog.
So now, of course, I must tweak the blog's focus. No longer will we focus on Tracy sports, cept maybe when we visit Lopez Field. Sports we may still mention, specially if we are attending baseball games in Oakland, playing frisbee on Ocean Beach, or wiffle ball in the office.
So. Yes. Soon. But not tonight. I've got a cold room full of dirty laundry, and a three-hour board meeting to attend at 9 a.m. tomorrow.
Jeebus.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Olympics free from steroids, clean air, dudes with no legs
Say what you want about International Association of Athletics Federation (and much is said, surely): they care very, very much about the sanctity of their Games, Olympic and otherwise. Yep, after that whole 20+ years of performance enhancing drugs running rampant in track and field, they would HATE to lose anymore face. So that's why this guy:
won't be racing/competing/crawling/blading into the arena carrying the South African flag, thankyouverymuch.
The IAAF announced Monday that 21-year old South African Oscar Pistorius can't 'run' in any IAAF events -- which means he can't run in pretty much anything, seeing as how Pistorius runs, uh, you know, on a track in a track and field event. Home Depot doesn't sponsor many track meets, you see. This means, oddly enough, that a man who can still run the 400 meters in under 47 seconds despite no, you know, effing lower legs is barred from the Olympics. Have to protect the Olympics' reputation, after all.
A German scientist -- whose acumens are always used for the greater good -- was nice enough to take the time and effort to find out that Pistrorius's fake legs provide him a clear competitive advantage over those athletes who have their own lower legs and feet to work for them. If only Barry Bonds had received said memo.
So instead of this:
(I usually hate Nike commercials but come on, that's cool)
This summer, we'll get lots of this:
Wonder what choking Industrial age smog does to an athlete?
won't be racing/competing/crawling/blading into the arena carrying the South African flag, thankyouverymuch.
The IAAF announced Monday that 21-year old South African Oscar Pistorius can't 'run' in any IAAF events -- which means he can't run in pretty much anything, seeing as how Pistorius runs, uh, you know, on a track in a track and field event. Home Depot doesn't sponsor many track meets, you see. This means, oddly enough, that a man who can still run the 400 meters in under 47 seconds despite no, you know, effing lower legs is barred from the Olympics. Have to protect the Olympics' reputation, after all.
A German scientist -- whose acumens are always used for the greater good -- was nice enough to take the time and effort to find out that Pistrorius's fake legs provide him a clear competitive advantage over those athletes who have their own lower legs and feet to work for them. If only Barry Bonds had received said memo.
So instead of this:
(I usually hate Nike commercials but come on, that's cool)
This summer, we'll get lots of this:
Wonder what choking Industrial age smog does to an athlete?
Just pretend I'm not here
It's not too hard to ignore some people, but sometimes a body can just get under your skin. Reading over your shoulder. Answering their own questions. Cracking their knuckles ever 30 seconds. I do all three, but one thing I shy away from is The Micromanagerial Hover. I would especially try to avoid this one if I were a megalomaniac of a football owner with a long history of futzing with his coaches, especially when said coach du now is three minutes away from tying an NFL record with a sixth-consecutive playoff loss for my hallowed, storied, extremely-marketable franchise.
No pressure, Wade.
No pressure, Wade.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Going too far -- a fair-weather inkling
I'm from New Hampshire. This, the run-up before the Presidential primary -- still the first in the nation, though the state nearly moved the vote up to 2007 to keep it first -- is the only time the state draws the world's attention. The humble residents of 'Arkansas with snow' are humble residents of import -- as then-Governor Sununu said in 1988: "The people of Iowa pick corn -- the people of New Hampshire pick presidents."
All eyez on New Hampshire, then. Under a lens. A magnifying glass. What better time to tattoo the Patriots logo on the side of your head?
From The Citizen of Laconia:
For full effect, here's it is, in all its glory. The young son's lifelong look of familial humiliation is coming along nicely.
I really, really want to be shocked/outraged about this in some superior-sounding kind of way, but it's proving tough. Maybe it's just not all that big of a deal -- other Anglo Saxons have been inking stupid stuff for ages.
All eyez on New Hampshire, then. Under a lens. A magnifying glass. What better time to tattoo the Patriots logo on the side of your head?
From The Citizen of Laconia:
When it comes to being a fanatic about his team even the most ardent New England Patriots fans would likely agree that Victor Thompson is a head above the rest ... literally.
Thompson, 39, a longtime Laconia resident, wanted to pay homage to the team's recent completion of a perfect season and Sunday's victory against the New York Giants prompted him to turn his shaved skull into the canvas with which to voice his appreciation for their dominance.
On Monday Thompson made his way from his Winter Street apartment around the corner to House of Tattoos to get a full sized Patriots emblem permanently emblazoned on the side of his head.
For full effect, here's it is, in all its glory. The young son's lifelong look of familial humiliation is coming along nicely.
I really, really want to be shocked/outraged about this in some superior-sounding kind of way, but it's proving tough. Maybe it's just not all that big of a deal -- other Anglo Saxons have been inking stupid stuff for ages.Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Some of the best of Emmitt Smith
I don't have cable, so when I watch football it's usually either at the bar or a friend's house. Either way, I don't get to hear a lot of the analysis, so it's relatively news to me how well Emmitt Smith's analyst career is coming along. Here, for your tonguetwisting pleasure, are some recent TV highlights from one of the NFL's greatest-ever players.
Bananas:
Trickelates:
Having a fun day:
He's said some other cool stuff, too.
Bananas:
Trickelates:
Having a fun day:
He's said some other cool stuff, too.
Monday, November 26, 2007
I can be a real dick sometimes
Hi. Thanks for reading. If you are actually reading this, that is.
So. I hadn't written a column in a while after writing the last two. And for some reason, the first 40 or so hadn't received much a response from readers than the last two did combined. So. Blog-time, yah?
So. It's one thing to have an opinion. It's another to so be comfortable with it, so in charge that you can say exactly what it is and why in a level-headed reasonable manner. Recently, I really missed the boat on that last one.
I don't have any misgivings about what I said in my last column -- which was, in a few words, that people can be mean and ugly in front of little kids -- but looking back on it, some of the language was cheapjack crap. Way too much petty name-calling -- which is a really unfair thing for someone in my position to do with a newspaper column. Not my place. Not setting a good example for kids, either, if that's what I'm going to try and be all high and mighty about. For that, sorry.
Other than that I'll stand by it. People -- all people, coaches and columnists alike -- do dumb stuff.
I do like to think that most all people, even those prone to meanness, are at their cores alike. Let's all try to be cool, yeah?
UPDATE: Tuesday evening
So after spending about 20 minutes chatting with a select group of parents who think the column was aimed directly at them -- sorry, it wasn't (really), I don't do that (not yet, anyway) -- I'm going to add another thing or two.
What I wrote was something that'd been stewing in me since 2005, after watching games played by each and every one of the three youth organizations in town, as well as some over in Manteca and Ceres. Yes, I have done all that. Yes, I have seen a lot of bad stuff from all sorts of parents, on all sorts of sidelines.
I didn't name any people, teams or organizations because I felt -- and still do feel -- that people who act like buffoons in front of little kids are a small minority, and I didn't -- and don't -- want to cast any wide dispersions on an organization. I'm not in that kind of business.
That all being said, if someone was offended by what I wrote, and angry about what I wrote, maybe it is they need to watch what they say and do in front of little kids.
Like yelling at a reporter in the dark for about 20 minutes, complaining about coverage, whining about cheap shots, and even playing the race card. Where'd that come from? Are we reading the same paper?
Someone told me today it's a free country. Another person told me they, as a paying spectator, are free to do and say what they want. Sure, but if you're a parent, you have a responsibility. If your kid is watching you act up, you're throwing your responsibility out the window. Your choice, but don't act like someone's railroading you when you get called on it.
So. I hadn't written a column in a while after writing the last two. And for some reason, the first 40 or so hadn't received much a response from readers than the last two did combined. So. Blog-time, yah?
So. It's one thing to have an opinion. It's another to so be comfortable with it, so in charge that you can say exactly what it is and why in a level-headed reasonable manner. Recently, I really missed the boat on that last one.
I don't have any misgivings about what I said in my last column -- which was, in a few words, that people can be mean and ugly in front of little kids -- but looking back on it, some of the language was cheapjack crap. Way too much petty name-calling -- which is a really unfair thing for someone in my position to do with a newspaper column. Not my place. Not setting a good example for kids, either, if that's what I'm going to try and be all high and mighty about. For that, sorry.
Other than that I'll stand by it. People -- all people, coaches and columnists alike -- do dumb stuff.
I do like to think that most all people, even those prone to meanness, are at their cores alike. Let's all try to be cool, yeah?
UPDATE: Tuesday evening
So after spending about 20 minutes chatting with a select group of parents who think the column was aimed directly at them -- sorry, it wasn't (really), I don't do that (not yet, anyway) -- I'm going to add another thing or two.
What I wrote was something that'd been stewing in me since 2005, after watching games played by each and every one of the three youth organizations in town, as well as some over in Manteca and Ceres. Yes, I have done all that. Yes, I have seen a lot of bad stuff from all sorts of parents, on all sorts of sidelines.
I didn't name any people, teams or organizations because I felt -- and still do feel -- that people who act like buffoons in front of little kids are a small minority, and I didn't -- and don't -- want to cast any wide dispersions on an organization. I'm not in that kind of business.
That all being said, if someone was offended by what I wrote, and angry about what I wrote, maybe it is they need to watch what they say and do in front of little kids.
Like yelling at a reporter in the dark for about 20 minutes, complaining about coverage, whining about cheap shots, and even playing the race card. Where'd that come from? Are we reading the same paper?
Someone told me today it's a free country. Another person told me they, as a paying spectator, are free to do and say what they want. Sure, but if you're a parent, you have a responsibility. If your kid is watching you act up, you're throwing your responsibility out the window. Your choice, but don't act like someone's railroading you when you get called on it.
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