Not since Arsenio was on the air.
Not since the other Bush was in office.
Not since I encountered hormones.
For the first time in, oh, roughly 17 years, I didn't watch a single down of the Super Bowl. I glanced at the tube while popping meatballs (not sexual or drug-related, I swear) during the seven or so days of pregame "coverage," but not a single punt, pass or kick of the Forty-First Giant Orgasm of Commercialism.
During kickoff, I was at the beach (or actually the liquor store, probably). During halftime, I was on a roller coaster. While the rain poured down, I was playing frisbee. And while millions of Midwesterners edged closer to apoplexy, I was... I think I was checking to see if Liverpool had won (0-0 to Everton :( ).
What can I say? I'm the party pooper.
If a Bear fails in Miami and I'm not there to see it, does it make a .... never mind.Far be it from me to cast judgment on something I didn't see or witness firsthand (funny, to be a history major AND a journalist), but from all accounts I didn't miss much.
One very good team and one pretty good team. One very, very good offense and one pretty good defense. One borderline-great quarterback and one borderline-crap quarterback. In the miserable, sliding, sloppy rain. That last addition usually makes for good football, but let's not forget one potent fact: the Super Bowl's not about football.
How many people told you over the past week, "Oh, I'm just watching it for the commercials?" That's essentially all the game -- and, by slight extension, the NFL -- is: one gigantic paen to BUY SOMETHING!! NOW!! FAST!! NOWWHYDIDN'TYOUBUYITYETWHATISWRONGWITHYOUAREN'TYOU AMERICAN!!
Ahem.
Not that I'm saying I'm above the 93 million Americans who did watch the game. For many, the Super Bowl is a holiday, and like anyone who knows me knows, I dig a holiday. The more time spent amongst family and friends carousing and not chasing the almighty dollar the better.
But let's call everything by its proper name. The Super Bowl hasn't been about football for a long, long time, and the most recent installation of this Recent Grand American Tradition was even less so.
I didn't waste my Sunday afternoon watching pitch after corporate pitch; how was yours?
2 comments:
Good for you, Roberts.
Personally, I am not so much apalled by the rampant commercialism as I am confused. People not only tolerate Super Bowl commercials, they actively ENJOY them! This seems a uniquely American form of sadism.
By the way, there are several websites devoted to Super Bowl commercials. You can download videos of the commercials and vote on your favorite! For example, check out http://www.spotbowl.com/.
I watched the beginning of the game at a party but left around halftime. At home, I discovered a refreshing alternative to the Super Bowl: The Puppy Bowl. For the entire day of the Super Bowl, Animal Planet broadcasts video of puppies running around on a miniature football field. They frolic and wrestle and bite each other--all in all, a more impressive display of athleticism than the Super Bowl, which seems to always be a fumbling affair, plagued by nerves and all the distractions of the world's most absurd sporting event.
For a while, I thought the Puppy Bowl was an astute parody of that absurdity. Then, during the the halftime show, a referee stepped into the miniature stadium to vacuum up all the dog hair. The Puppy Bowl, the cheery announcer said, is brought to you by Bissell Vacuums--"We Mean Clean."
I know this is not the coolest comment, but the term "party pooper" is the funniest thing to read.
I'm the party pooper!
I'm the party pooper!
Goodness...
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