Olympics free from steroids, clean air, dudes with no legs

Say what you want about International Association of Athletics Federation (and much is said, surely): they care very, very much about the sanctity of their Games, Olympic and otherwise. Yep, after that whole 20+ years of performance enhancing drugs running rampant in track and field, they would HATE to lose anymore face. So that's why this guy:

won't be racing/competing/crawling/blading into the arena carrying the South African flag, thankyouverymuch.


The IAAF announced Monday that 21-year old South African Oscar Pistorius can't 'run' in any IAAF events -- which means he can't run in pretty much anything, seeing as how Pistorius runs, uh, you know, on a track in a track and field event. Home Depot doesn't sponsor many track meets, you see. This means, oddly enough, that a man who can still run the 400 meters in under 47 seconds despite no, you know, effing lower legs is barred from the Olympics. Have to protect the Olympics' reputation, after all.

A German scientist -- whose acumens are always used for the greater good -- was nice enough to take the time and effort to find out that Pistrorius's fake legs provide him a clear competitive advantage over those athletes who have their own lower legs and feet to work for them. If only Barry Bonds had received said memo.

So instead of this:

(I usually hate Nike commercials but come on, that's cool)

This summer, we'll get lots of this:

Wonder what choking Industrial age smog does to an athlete?